The 'Lonely Stoner' Guide to Manhattan Chinatown

Inspired by Kid Cudi.

For starters (get it :P), please don’t take this title as some weird self-deprecating joke. Rather, the theme of this piece is a reference to the fictional character featured in Kid Cudi’s hit single “Day N Night (Nightmares).” Fans of the artist, myself included, have grown up with the rapper’s mentions of similar figures throughout his narrative-heavy discography, such as “Mr. Solo Dolo” and “Man on the Moon,” leading us to develop perceptions of what these characters embody and symbolize.

To me, if the “Lonely Stoner” was a New York City diner, they’d be someone who prefers to avoid the chaos and hype of Tik-Tok’s favorite places, wants to comfortably eat alone if nobody’s with them, and would like to be in and out without worrying about price. This is where I’d tell them to go if visiting Manhattan’s Chinatown, and maybe one or two of these will sound like something you’re looking for too.

Seng Seafood Restaurant

Located on the East Broadway side of Manhattan’s Chinatown, a section with far fewer tourists than Mott and Canal is Seng Seafood.

Unlike the better-known restaurants for cart dim sum, such as Golden Unicorn, Jin Fong, and House of Joy, it’s easy to get a seat at Seng without waiting, even during prime hours like weekend lunch. Don’t be intimidated by the large groups if you’re dining alone, they’ll seat you at a communal table where you’re likely to meet other like-minded dumpling aficionados.

Their army of cart pushers will offer you an assortment of freshly made classics including har gao, shumai, steamed pork buns, cheung fung, fried dumplings and shrimp balls, and egg tarts. With most of these coming in at $4-$7 per order, there’s little to complain about. Unexpectedly, one of the standouts for me was the fried shrimp ball, which was super juicy and contained a generous amount of green onion.

West Rice Roll King

When speaking of East-Asian monarchs, everyone knows Genghis Khan, but allow me to introduce you to the West Rice Roll King. Just across the street from the internet’s most talked about roast meat shop Wah Fung lies this unassuming storefront where only a glass barrier separates the customers from the kitchen.

Behind the King’s transparent castle wall, you can see two to three people freshly making rice rolls (cheung fun) to order. The King offers his visitors various filings to pick up from, including proteins, fishballs, and eggs. The one pictured above has pork, shrimp, eggs, and scallion, topped with soy sauce and chili crunch, and cost roughly $8.

Inside the kingdom are a couple of stools and a counter, making it a perfect place to sit as a lonely stoner or with one or two companions. The King is not a fan of digital payments, so be sure to greet him with cold hard cash.

Good Century Cafe

Step inside Good Century Cafe for breakfast or lunch and you’ll feel like a side character in a Wong Kar-wai movie. This cafe and bakery serves freshly made dim sum, baked goods, rice dishes, and an assortment of teas, coffees, and juices.

Pictured above is a simple shrimp cheung fun, which tasted far fresher than similar ones I’ve had at the Mott Street Eatery food court. Their egg tarts are great too, which I’d describe in the most generic way possible as “not too sweet.” You can definitely feed yourself here for under $10 and it’s a perfect place to sit alone with a book, laptop, etc, or scout out some locals to kick your ass in mahjong.

Curry House

Despite the implications of the neighborhood’s name, Chinatown is a culinary epicenter where diners can find all sorts of cuisines and dishes beyond just Chinese food.

Just a couple of feet from the iconic and now tourist-packed Nom Wah Tea Parlor is a Curry House, a Malaysian restaurant whose name says it all. It’s a relatively quiet place that always has tables, and when it comes to the chicken curry they don’t play around. You can get an individual portion of this aromatic and incredibly satisfying dish with rice for around $10, and the sharing size pictured above will cost you circa $20.

They close a little earlier than some of the other restaurants in the area, so try to get there by 8 PM if you don’t want them to start yelling at you to finish your food and leave, which they will do in the most unapologetic and quintessentially Chinatown fashion.

Forgtmenot

Dimes Square, which sits at the cross-section of the Lower East Side and Chinatown has turned into an oasis for hipsters with numerous bars, plentiful outdoor seating, and an array of options. This includes spots like the punk-rock dive bar Clockwork, the Asian-inspired wine bar Tolo, and Wu’s Wonton King, which has stood the test of time and maintained the area’s Chinatown roots.

You’ll also find Forgtmenot here, a dive bar with an extensive food menu that far exceeds expectations. For $20, stragglers can enjoy their steak frites, which features a generously sized spice-rubbed skirt steak, fresh chimichurri, and fries that have no reason to be as well seasoned as they are. Pairing the dish with beer or a simple well-drink like whiskey and ginger ale will do you well without breaking the bank.